unclefather:

my mom said “what is a twink” really loudly at the table in the olive garden 

(via maliciousmelons)

"People always tell you, ‘Be humble. Be humble.’ When was the last time someone told you to be amazing? Be great! Be great! Be awesome! Be awesome!"

Kanye West, American Mozart  (via scumburg)

(Source: betterawittyfool, via reginasmom)

taxicar:

choking on a food you love is the ultimate betrayal 

The dick?

(Source: taxicar, via reginasmom)